A- hem!

One evening we went to dinner at Grandma's. She was tired and frustrated. She'd spent the day shopping for a dress. It was the 60's, 'Decade of the Rising Hemline,' and she could not find a dress with a hemline below the knee. This was in a city in the conservative Midwest, boasting 2 good-sized department stores and numerous clothing specialty stores, and Grandma had searched all of them. There was literally nothing suitable.

They had longer dresses in the larger sizes, but Grandma had the good fortune to be a size 10. At least she'd always thought it was good fortune. That day she wasn't so sure. She was furious that the fashion industry had you where they wanted you, and didn't care about clothing anybody but teens.

Note : Background is called for. Back in the 50's and 60's people's wardrobes were smaller. No doubt you've noticed insanely small closets in houses built back then? I mention this just to emphasize that when Grandma needed a new dress, she really needed a new dress. The occasion to wear it was the following week, and her sewing skills were barely adequate for a simple housedress.

I knew exactly how Grandma felt. I was in junior high, where the school administrators were engaged in a losing battle to enforce hem lengths. The rule of thumb was that if you knealt and the hem didn't reach the floor it was too short. It was a tough time for us female students. Dress code required us to wear dresses or skirts. None of that year's hemlines complied with the hemline rules. We were all terrified of that hemline test.

So, how did it all end up, you ask? For starters, Grandma bought a pantsuit. She really didn't want to, but it was the only alternative. Other ladies in her social circles faced the same issues and came to the same conclusion, so it wasn't like she got expelled from her club. 

Grandma was luckier than me. The dress code for the schools wasn't struck down until I was in high school, where we finally got to wear pantsuits, slacks, or jeans. Administrators may have been shocked at schoolgirls in jeans back in the day, but history proves them wrong. This was a true victory for modesty. Young girls weren't trained to sit properly in those short skirts! Jeans were a far better choice.

Now that I'm Grandma's age, I see that some things haven't changed. The mainstream fashion industry still only wants to clothe the young and attractive, still strives for a touch of sluttiness. I shop for 'mom jeans' and can only find those skin-tight stretchy things. Panties keep shrinking; I've heard the term "butt-floss" used. Speaking of butts, waistlines continue to drop, so expect to get mooned by everybody, not just your plumber.

The exception? The length of shorts. By golly, today's young men would pass that hemline test with flying colors. Good job!