I have depression, medically diagnosed and currently untreated.
It's quite a handicap. It takes hours to 'psych myself up' to finish a task. If it's significant, like cooking a holiday meal, or catching up with multiple loads of dishes, I have to give myself numerous 'pep talks' to start and finish the job.
If I'm interrupted by something else, I have to start at zero and work my way back up. Remember the old board game called 'chutes and ladders?' It's like that, only no ladders. You struggle upward, step by step, and hope to hell you don't land on a chute.
I've tried medications. They cost a lot, they didn't work, and their side effects made my life worse. There are 'new' medications that 'might' work, with even 'worse' side effects, but 'Big Pharma' has gotten its last 'cha-ching' from this 'guinea pig'.
If the cure might kill me faster than the disease, I'd just as soon live with the depression. It isn't fatal unless I kill myself. (I wouldn't unless I could save the world doing so, like the old pilot in Independence Day. Since I can't fly... unlikely.)
There are lifestyle adjustments that can help. One can get lots of light, eat the right stuff, exercise, and set lower expectations. I can manage 3 tasks a day without overload. Normal people can do more, and good for them. I have to pick and choose.
Which finally brings me to the point. Yesterday was a 5-task day. (Holy chute, Batman!) There was a neighborhood block party I thought I should attend. I hate parties, really hate them, but one needs to know one's neighbors. It was a 'pot luck,' so I made cookies. Between the cookies and the party, it was 2 tasks too many.
Last night I could barely hobble to bed, let alone finish a blog ("task 6"). Today everything hurts and I'm behind on all the little stuff I should have done yesterday. (Yep... if you ignore do-as-you-go stuff, it piles up and morphs into another task.)
So far today I haven't landed on a chute so I might get caught up and get my 3 tasks done. Yaaaay! Another few steps forward on the game board.
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