O M G oddess

My heart is broken. Marvel Comics shot a thunderbolt through it when they gave my beloved Thor a sex change. Dude doesn't even look like a lady now... more like a body builder with boobs. I feel sick.

It seems that Marvel wants to expand their fan base to include more women and minorities. They hope this female super-hero will inspire women to flock to the comic stores and theaters. If any do, I won't be among them.

They already had me as a fan, because of Thor. For me, Thor was Marvel's romantic hero. Swapping out my romantic hero and replacing him with a woman is just plain mean. They basically took away my candy and gave it to the boys, who already have more than their fair share of it in the comic-book world.

Sure, I'd like them to bring a female hero into the mix, but not at the expense of Thor. If I told Marvel Comics I wanted a swimming pool, would they bulldoze down my house to install it? ("Geez, lady, you said you wanted a pool, we gave you a pool. What's yer problem?")

Since Frozen struck the right note, strong female characters are in demand. However, it's not easy to find the right balance. It took Disney 60 years to get there, and they're freakin' Disney! You can't just slap a wig on a pig and tell it to sing. (You really can't. The Muppets could sue you. But I digress...)

It is a valid criticism that comics lack 'A-list' female super-heros. For all I know, male fans are tired of The Avengers being such a sausage-fest. I'm sure somebody at Marvel thinks this is a win-win idea because it appeases the girls and gives the boys a super-hero to ogle.

Please, Marvel, prepare a back-up plan. Tell me there's an artist in the back room designing a new female comic superstar, one with massive intelligence and power, but not massive boobage.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to hope this is a belated April Fool's prank. Perhaps tomorrow this will show up in the mail:

      "Dear Greta,

           Calm down, we were kidding. We'd never really do that to our loyal Thor fans. 
           We're sending Chris Hemsworth to deliver you a dozen roses by way of apology. 

       Sincerely, Marvel."