The Simple Retail Life

When I was on the corporate treadmill, I dreamed of those happy days back in college when I worked a retail job. Stores were beautiful and comfortable; the mall was the place to be. There were dozens of spots to get lunch. You handled the latest merchandise. Parking was ample and close. When the workday was done your time was your own. So when the Great Downsize/Outsource happened at my office, and I joined the ranks of the unemployed, I decided to leave corporate stress behind and go back to the simple retail life.

I found that the years have not been kind to retail. Even back in the day, the non-customer areas were pretty bleak. They're worse now. It's like you leave Wonderland and enter a prison compound. Bare concrete, a time clock, grubby employee lockers, janitorial supplies, and a minefield of boxes and trashed retail fixtures. (Take particular note of those janitorial supplies, because you are also the janitor. Those rest rooms, shelves, doors, and floors don't clean themselves!) 

A broken plastic chair is a thing of beauty after standing on a hard floor for hours! The smell of the 'break room' is nauseating because your co-workers microwave fish and cabbage. Just put on your nose clips and enjoy whatever snack you brought from home. On retail wages, a food court lunch can cost more than you make on a 4-hour shift. Speaking of 4-hour shifts, of course you are a part-time employee. Retailers can't afford much else. But at least you have time to check out the other stores around you, right?  Well, if there are any. So many places have already closed, with more about to.

And what about that stress-free part? Ha! The boss is worse than your old corporate boss. Remember, you are now worth less, and are more easily replaced. You are now expected to vacuum floors, wash windows, confront shoplifters, set up fixtures, and do minor repairs every second of your shift unless a customer is right there buying something. Forget talking to other employees. If there's time to talk, there's one too many employees on that shift. Which is just as well, since people go to work even if sick. Keep a safe distance. A bottle of generic daytime 'cold-n-flu' relief is the only health plan most co-workers have. Obamacare? Puh-leeze! That's just for catastrophes.

But at least there is the cool merchandise and the ample parking, right? Well, sorta. You can look at merchandise. But it costs more than you earn in a month. Ample parking?  Sure, except holiday season. If you work the afternoon or evening shift, good luck finding a parking spot within a mile of the store. Better luck getting back to your car through a mile of deserted parking lots, through rain or snow, on sore feet... and in the dark. Happy holidays! 

That leaves time off. Your time off does belong to you. The only catch here is when you get that time off. The time you need the most, before and during the holidays, is the busiest retail time of all. Don't expect time to prepare for the feasts, decorations, presents, and visits one traditionally enjoys on those days. Don't even expect Thanksgiving or Christmas Day off.

Thanks to an employed Hubby, I could afford to leave the 'simple retail life.' It was quite an experience. I respectfully salute retail workers everywhere; it's not an easy gig and the pay sucks. I salute the Golden Age of Retail; it was a magical time.  But most of all, I salute... my employed Hubby!  Thanks, Babe! Thankyou thankyou thankyou!