No Service Makes Me Nervous

When I'm out and about, and I see 'self serve,' I'm immediately on the lookout for an alternative. It's not a 'spoiled princess' thing... I don't get off on being served. It's not even a lazy thing; my laziness manifests in other ways. It's more about conversation, enjoyment and competency.

Take buffets, for example. How can you have a decent conversation when everyone at the table is hopping around like crickets the whole time?

Me --- "So, Joan, how was your trip? Did you meet anyone fun?"
Joan - "Did I ever! Tall, dark, and Speedo. And his pick-up line..."
Jan -- "Hold that thought! I need more salad." (runs off to salad bar)
Joan - "I may as well get more soda."
Lori - "While she's there I'm going to grab some of that cake."
Me --- "Dang! I'm late for work and still haven't heard the story."
Joan - (returns to table) "That's ok, I'll email you later."

It's not just the conversation. It's being able to sit down and take a break during a long, active day.

Then there's competency. How in tarnation am I supposed to know if the big-box hardware store has the part I need? I can't even guess which aisle it's in. It's worse for clerk-less department stores. There are clothes everywhere, some displayed by brand, others by clearance, and everything is 'separates.' "Dang it, somebody give me a clue how to find a whole outfit!"

There's also that I'm a klutz, so I'm liable to drop a tray of food before it gets to the table. I'm slow too, so bagging those groceries may take longer. ("What's your hurry, all you people behind me?")

Finally, there's the principle of the thing. I don't like giving a business money when they're too cheap and greedy to hire help. They say they're passing the savings on to the customer, but:

1. The prices aren't all that much better
2. If saving money was my objective, I'd stay home and save even more.

Being older and wiser, I know that the day is coming when I'll need help to the car. I'll need food brought to the table, and I'll appreciate advice on confusing products and hard-to-locate items. If I don't patronize the businesses that hire this sort of help, they may not be around just when I need them most.

So next time I'm at the buffet and they ask me what I want, I'm going to say, "A waiter."